Hey I know it’s late but wanted to post something real quick before cobwebs start to grow on this blog. I got approved for 2 new fanlistings which I thought they had already decided on them but am happy to have them. I finished 2 of them, so if you are a fan of the old TV sitcom Happy Days, I totally love that show, same with Laverne & Shirley but I don’t own that one hahah. I also finished up the Laurel & Hardy fanlisting although that is way before my time, I can’t help but love those two characters, they are still funny to me. I’m also adopting the Billiards/Pool fanlisting, I love playing pool, I actually played in tournaments for a while, but that fizzed out, but still I love the game and wish I had a pool table at home, I also go approved for the Movie Character Murphy, Dade/’Crash Override’/’Zero Cool’, I had adopted the fanlisting Hackers so it’s no surprise that I wanted to make a fanlisting of one of the leading characters, I wanted Kate Libby/’Acid Burn’ but that was already taken. So I am getting quite a collection.
I talked to Alice earlier today, I didn’t like her attitude toward me, I felt it to be undeserved. Sometimes when she talks to me she acts like she hates me. This happens whenever she returns to London for work. While she is here, beautiful sea side town, she is different. Sometimes I ask myself is it worth it, getting attitude? I have thought a lot about it, and I am confused, as well as worried and scared. I’m hoping that the upcoming time off she will have will help her, as well as us. I know it’s the fact that she can’t be here like a normal person is at home, but she knew what she was up against when she decided to buy property an hour and a half away from where she works, now she is actually feeling what he decision did, but I also know that it’s something she’s wanted all her life, and well here it is. I try to cheer her up and tell her to focus on the good and not the bad, but she does have a habit of looking at the negative things more than positive.
But still it comes down to how I am being made to feel. Sometimes I feel like just leaving, you know? Just leaving her, but I try to be understanding, I fight with myself constantly about this. Maybe I’m over analyzing it or something. Something will give, when we make our trip to California early next year, I hope a lot of things will change for the better, so that is what I keep my heart set on, and encourage her to think about also.
I called her today, earlier, and she didn’t answer, about 15 minutes later she called me back, at first she immediately got upset because she felt as if I wasn’t listening to her, okay I was working on a project for her online, and yeah I should of put it aside to talk to her, she cut me off and said when I’m not busy then we’ll talk, I said ok and hung up. I finished typing up part of what I was doing, then called her back, and what does she do, XD she decides to turn off the phone that she knows I can call for free on, so what does that lead me to do? To call her back on the regualr mobile, then I say, stop being childish and turn on the other one, so she did, and I called back and finally chatted to her, she sounded like she wasn’t home, outside or in her car, I asked her, what you up to? She says, going to the store to do some grocery shopping, now at this point, I know she was lying, why do you ask? Well earlier first time I talked to her, she said she had just got out of the shower, this is about 5:30pm she NEVER showers in the evenings, so I knew she was going out, and it wasn’t to no damn grocery store. So the evening wears on, and I haven’t heard from her, its about 9:30pm and nothing, so I take it upon myself to call, and I do. I ask her hey whats up, whatcha doing, she does NOT tell me right away she is at someones house, she says, ‘oh watching TV’ so I ask, what you watching, she says the name of the show. then I stay silent for a few seconds and in the background I can hear Adriana talking. I got upset and didn’t let her know, and just told her ‘oh okay, I’ll talk to you later then’ and she and I hang up. So why didn’t she tell me thats where she was at right away, I know Alice very well, and I know she didn’t want to tell me she was going there instead of the grocery store, I HATE LIARS I really do. Now I am not worried about her and Adriana by all means, it’s just the fact she kept it from me that upset me. So she got home about 11:30 and called me and said she’s going to bed, and thought she’d call me. She seemed very impatient when I talked to her on the phone, and to be honest, I just wanted to get off the phone with her, I didn’t feel much like talking to her. Thinking of it right now is upsetting me, and makes me think irrationally, like what I had said earlier about leaving her, but I need to push that out of my mind now. Maybe it’s all me, I don’t know. I am confused though. I’m gonna leave it at that. I’m getting upset over this and I just want to put it all out of my mind. I’m sad too ;( because of it. I’ll be okay. I’m thinking over what happened a few days ago, that was very hurtful and with what happened today just made it all that worse. I am feeling I can’t trust her as much as I’d like to.