Down and sad

Alice has these moments or should I say days that she feels depressed, I don’t know what to do those days. Today was that day. We didn’t go out, she got into that youtube thing, and I can hear her laughing from the room, I was happy to see her so happy you know? I made her lunch, and we drank tea, and she watched youtube for a good while, then she wrote, she’s working on her novel, then more tea, and more surfing. I’m thinking this is great, she is happy. Then into the evening, she starts getting annoyed, I get close to her she says she feels I’m in a bad mood, I’m like “no babe, it’s you that is feeling that not me” so I pamper her and all, trying to make her feel better. But it’s one of those things that you can’t shake off no matter what you do or anyone else does. I know how she is feeling, I’ve been there when I just feel like crying. I wish she would cry so she can relieve some of what she is feeling. She asked me today, “Do you think we’ll ever get to the USA” I said “well of course silly, why wouldn’t we”, she’s asked this before, sometimes I think it’s just her thinking it’s too good to be true. I continue to keep the positive outlook, I need to. Especially when she is feeling as she was today. Well 1am came around and she started to shut down her computer which is good, cause I think some of what she was reading and watching online kind of put her mood worse, she found videos of her brother (he’s in a band) on youtube, and she shared them with me. She says, doe she look like me? I’m like no he don’t he looks like your mom. I watched a video of him from like 1986, I’m like wow he looks like you, but only his profile, he had semi wavy hair, dark almost black, and she has this like perfect nose, I just love her nose, I tell her all the time lol. But because she hasn’t seen him in years, she I guess started to get depressed. Sometimes I think “oh gosh not again” but then I think about all the things we’ve talked about, and what she’s gone through and I tell myself, “shut up, be there for her” and that’s exactly what I do. I am there for her, even if I have to baby her. Ok so we went to bed, and she wanted me to hold her tight which I did, but sometimes I just can’t stay in that position too long lol. So I started to move around find a comfy position, she then says “if you can’t sleep, go out to the living room” which is what I do when I can’t so as to not bother her in bed. At first I wasn’t going to leave and try to sleep, but then I thought, damn I can’t sleep, I better go out to the lounge, and well here I am. This is the what I’m doing on impulse. I sent her a greeting card, I’m sure she’ll read it tomorrow sometimes, but I want us to go out and take a walk along the beach, I think it’ll make her feel better, then we can go to Argos and get the things we wanted to buy. We want to return this hook for the door, we thought it would fit but it didn’t. It’s one of those to hang your robe, but this kind just hooks on the top of the door, but our doors are too wide lol, so we need to return them. Anyway that’s about all, I don’t like when she gets like this, not cause I get annoyed or anything, but because I don’t like to see her sad. It makes me sad. And we can’t have 2 sad ones, so I need to snap her out of it. I know there are a lot of issues, that I can’t do anything about, it’s just things she needs to work out in her own head. But I think anyone who loves their partner would know how I feel, no one wants their loved one to be sad like that, you know? I think I’ll go watch a movie, then go to sleep.