Why do things hurt so?

I noticed my smilies get aligned to the left, I think I want to edit that I don’t like that nor do I like the border around them, hmmm I guess I’ll eventually get to that, I’m not much in the mood right now lol. I totally throws the blog off with the way it aligns it the way it does don’t it? So the weather has been beautiful so nice to see that even with the recent flooding they’ve had here in England, gosh seems like its happening everywhere. Is this a sign? I don’t know, but its scary to think of that huh? Last night I entertained myself with a movie. I watched Captivity it was a really good movie, well worth watching it. It was actually better than I expected, its about a man and a woman awaken to find themselves captured in a cellar. As their kidnapper drives them psychologically mad, the truth about their horrific abduction is revealed. I did enjoy it, you should watch it.

This week has been a bit stressful, there is some stuff I discovered about Alice that has put me at a distance with her, its very personal so i won’t go into all the details but it hurt you know, made me very sad to the point of crying. And now I tell her I feel like sometimes I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to be around you, and I feel distant and I’m pushing her away. I know you don’t understand but trust me, its that vital! I have very mixed emotions right now, and I have been a bit emotional when talking to her on the phone. I don’t know whats going to happen, I just know that right now Idon’t want to be around her much. She’s in Londn but she was telling me today she wants me to go out to London and spend sometime with her, and I kept telling her, “you know how I feel” and she says “you have to come out” and I say ” no and you know why” and I just change the subject because I don’t want to talk bout it and there is no changing my mind. So she kinda leaves it alone. Today she called me on every break, and to be honest I didn’t want to talk to her but I went ahead anyway. Gosh I hate this what I’m feeling inside its horrible. I think I’ll go do something else, its depressing me.