Happy Mother’s Day

We are having terrible weather on this Mother’s Day, however, that is not taking away from it being Mother’s Day. I choose to stay home today, as my honey took his mother to visit his Grandmother. She’s been dealing with some heavy stuff these days with the nursing home case, so we have tried our best to support her and keep her company. At her age it must be scary to have to deal with things alone. We were able to find a good nursing home abuse attorney that comes well recommended. They’re a friend of a friend, and they’re taking good care of us. The old lady doesn’t always know exactly what’s going on but we try our best to tell her she doesn’t need to worry about things too much, and we’ll let her know when her input is needed. She already suffered enough, I can’t imagine dealing with someone being abusive while being old and alone in a place that was supposed to take care of me. Well that ended the moment we were made aware. It was the best we could do. She’s happier everyday, which makes me happy as well, even if these days I get a bit gloomy, as I think about my mom and miss her.

This time I just felt I wasn’t going to be good company. I find it hard sometimes to socialize on days like this, oh my moms birthday also, I am doing better with Christmas though. He understands, and I know he would have liked me to tag along. But I honestly am just sad. Sad because well I lost my mother some years ago, and it is just something that sticks with you forever. I think If I had had children that would be a distraction, but that just did not happen for me, I am, however, a mom to 2 lovely cats lol Daisy and Lily, they are my girls and love them to pieces. I am still sad though. Honestly, I hope I can do better next year, I don’t know I am just … sad.

I do want to wish all mothers a very Happy Mother’s Day it is not an easy task, and I haven’t the faintest idea what it is to be a mom, have a child much less more than one. Moms are real jobs, it is pretty much a lifetime job, well maybe up until they are fully grown and have their own kids, then they become Grand Mothers. And I have to add, that a Mother’s role is not only held be a female or male, but also by family members that have taken on the responsibility to take care of others children, and they are just doing an amazing job. That is a major role, there is so much to have to deal with. I know because I have seen it first hand with my sister, as she had adopted 3 siblings, which sadly all turned out not so great. She took them in, gave them a roof over their head, and a role I don’t think anyone could ever know how to play, there is so much that goes into it. But she gave love and did what she felt was the right thing to do at the time, and that is all she could really do. My youngest brother, took on the role of a part-time mom because while his 3 young kids at the time had my mother to “really” take care of then, he did have to step up after she passed away. I will be honest, he could have done better, and taking parenting classes would have helped, doing something to teach him better parenting skills would have been something, but he chose the path he wanted, and he raised those 3 kids to the best of his abilities. I don’t mean to knock him and I am not one to judge, but they did what they could, and I love them for that, and the kids are great, I don’t see them as much as I would have liked to as they live on the other side of the country.

Growing up I feel I was closest to my mother, with my father, he was there, but I don’t know I wasn’t close to him. As an adult, he gravitated toward the boys more than myself and my sister, which I think in retrospect, hurt, but it is what it is. I am not over it by any means, but it is what it is. I wish I hadn’t lost my mother so soon, there is so much I wanted to do with my mom as an adult, but again it is what it is, and it happened and life just has to go on. I’m not sure where I was going with all this, but here I am.

I think I will go and take my nail polish off, make a cup of coffee, pick another color, and do some video editing. I hope you all have a beautiful day, however you wish to spend it.

Happy Mother’s Day!