Tears To Shed

Well after months of trying to work on something, it seems it cannot be worked on, what might you be asking? Well my relationship with my ex partner Alice, yes I can finally freely talk about it if I want to now, so Alice if you read this, drop dead somewhere. For a while, a very long while, I was unable to really talk about what was inside me, and I have always found that I need to write about it in a public way, I don’t get too detailed, but I needed to talk about it. Maybe it’s for a sympathetic ear, or perhaps someone that can relate, one or the other, maybe both. I won’t say that I don’t love her, I do very much, but I see now how she truely is. Oh I hate liars with a passion, and most of all cheaters too. Both she falls into, I’m sad to say, because I feel it reflects on me too. I know I wasn’t perfect, but there were so many things that couldn’t be helped. The things I could, well were never really good enough. Over time I will post things from time to time about her, but for now that’s all really. I am hurting, and in any relationship that ends up breaking up, someone is going to be shedding tears, in this case it is me.

I’ll be going “home” soon, that makes me laugh. I had a home in California, but now I have to start over. I’m in England, and will be making my way home again in the later part of this year, October to be honest, if accomodations are arranged, which I hope to, so I’ll need to be making a phone call or two. I have a good friend out in Cali, Shelly she is a true friend, I wish Alice was more like her, minus the smoking pot bit lol. Shelly always told me I’d have a place to go back to, to start over at. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster, because something simialr happened in the past, nothing like moving to a whole new country, but just that because of someone you care about, your life changes drastically. Where my new journey will take me to who knows, but be sure you’ll read about it here. I miss her already. My heart is breaking as I type, I can feel the pain, and I think it’s time to close this for now. More another time.