I’m A Dumbass

I am so mad at myself for not waiting until tomorrow to erase a CD, I decided to do it tonight, and in the process accidentally erased my music and my pictures. The 2 folders that were named by windows I don’t understand why they didn’t over write the existing empty ones *grrr* I am more mad because there were recent pictures of Alice and myself I feel like crying now. I didn’t care much about my stupid music. This space bar is getting on my nerves it’s sticking a bit on the left side. I finally got around to doing a recovery on this laptop, it was having errors and programs weren’t working. Anyway now I’m upset about the pictures. Lol I even reinserted it hoping the stuff would be there. *sigh*

Yesterday Alice went to visit her sister. I didn’t want to go for reasons I won’t state, but none the less she went. Nothing to do with not liking her sister, I do she’s cool, and gay also lol. Alice had a fanastic time and I’m glad. Whenshe came home though, she made a big deal about how long I took to answer the door. Jumping to conclusions, finding reasons to yell. Well I said ‘ok’ and just said I need to find something, I went into the room, and found my Passport and gaveit to her and said book myflight out, I WANT OUT!! She says, well goand find th flight and book it. Fine I said. So I went and looked, found a flight for a few days later and said ‘ok’ it’s there all you need to do is put in your info. Then I grabbed my sweater, and grabbed a pack of cigarettes I’d had for a bit and walked outside, I was SO upset with the way she was treating me that I had enough!! I was really ready to GO.

I took the keys with me, but I wanted to prove to her that I was not leaving her outside longer than she needed to be. So I buzzed the door, she came and I turned away so she can’t see who I am. From the moment I buzzed I started counting, when she answered the intercom I was to 20 seconds and I stopped after a bit and told her. See it does take me that long to answer the door. How petty huh? So when I came back in, first thing she asks is. Do you really want to go. I said ‘Yes’ if you are going to behave like you did. Ok so she thought about it, and then said..Ok ok let’s start over. I did, but still in the backof my mind all Ican hear is her yelling at me the way she did. I’ll get over it after a few days. That woman. I love her and all. Oh yeah she finally came to me and said she loved me, but Isaid until youcan reallysayit and mean it, then I’ll believe you. Itell youI know she loves me she’s going through stuff and I guess I got to let her go through it.

Our time is winding down too. She’ll be back in London working and living, and I’ll be here without her. I’m going to miss her sooooooo much. We been talking about stuff, or should I say she has lol. She is leaning toward moving to California again LMAO, that woman can’t make her mind up. Ahhwell I just let her say what she wants, when the time comes to be serious about it and decide, then we’ll know. Missouri is still up in the air. I best get off this thing before she has heart attack, although she did go to bed and I finally got time to be able to post something. Have a great week everyone.