Another year without my mom. I know she is in a better place, in peace I can only pray. You have no idea how much she is missed. Even though I never had children, and it’s not something she is going to miss, as I know she is always watching over us. Even though she can’t come personally, and hold me and tell me she loves me. But I know she is there, she is always there. Even when I do dumb things lol. She is probably shaking her head side to side, saying *ugh, you know better*, and she is right. I miss her like crazy. I always try to tell people, don’t let times get by you without talking to you parents. I should take my own advice. I’m not close with my father, but that is a whole other story lol. Right now it’s about my mom. I miss her, I miss her, I miss her.
Yesterday I asked William to pick up a candle, as I burn one every year on her birthday, and on the day she passed. Silly William forgot to pick it up, I should of reminded him. But he’ll pick one up today. The thought is what counts, and let me tell you she is always in my thoughts. I don’t think there isn’t a day that I at least think of her once. It could be something that reminds me of her.
For example, during the birthday dinner this past weekend for Williams mom, his aunt said I smelled pretty and what perfume I was wearing, of course I totally forgot, but its J’adore heh. Now I remember, anyway, she asked is it musk, I said no. This brought my mother to mind. Because she use to wear Jovan Musk perfume in oil form. I still have the bottle, it’s from a collection of small bottle expensive perfumes but I still have it, and yeah I can admit I open it now and then to smell it, as it reminds me of her so much.
Sunflowers, they also remind me of her, as that is her favorite flower from the flower shop. My kitchen is starting to catch on the them of Sunflowers. I wonder why, thanks Mom, they are gorgeous, looks really nice in the kitchen that is why I visited the florist and grabbed an ornament for her memorial.
My sister made a really nice flash video type thing for my mom. I just finished saving it for her, because she couldn’t figure out how to save from that site, which I didn’t either, so I turned out screen recording, and that worked great. I would share it, but it’s my sisters thing, and she wants to share it, as she put her heart into it. Last year I made a video for my mom, I posted it on YouTube. Not sure if I will make one today. I don’t think so. I just want to be alone with my thoughts. I just miss her so much.